31st July 2011, 03:30 PM
Join Date: Feb 2006
Re: Improving our Challenge Stories -- READ FIRST POST
Originally Posted by Culhwch
As far as yours went, mosaix, I got that it was Threepio, got the bits scattered reference, and I got that he was talking about Darth Vader in the end, but as a former Star Wars tragic, it just didn't ring true to me. It didn't put me in mind of Threepio's voice - particularly the last line (even amended with 'to' for 'on'), which just doesn't sound like Threepio, and somehow doesn't flow with what had come before. It just sounded too casual, somehow. I can understand the difficulties you must have faced trying to nail Threepio's verbose voice in only seventy-five words, and still manage to have something of a narrative.
Roll on August.