| Re: Newbie Crit
Heya, I started doing a blow by blow, but then I realised that something was bugging me. I feel like we’ve joined the action too late. If I might be so bold, I’d suggest that you start with Phillips arriving at the ship, looking at it from the outside, meeting the crew and so on. It just kinda feels a bit rushed.
One point though- would notoriously superstitious ‘naval’ folk be a little apprehensive about naming the first FTL ship the Lucifer? Cool name, but not sure if it would be suitable for a flagship. They’d likely go for something inspiring, such as, ahem, Enterprise. Unless it is named the Lucifer because people don’t know whether they can trust ‘the aliens’ and so it reflects their concerns about the altruism of this “tempting” technology? |