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Originally Posted by dwndrgn Well, it sounds good, what there is of it. It seems to be missing something. I'm not sure what it is, maybe a snippet explaining why infiltrating an assassin's guild would lose Reynik his soul.
The only other issue is that headquarters shouldn't be capitalized unless it is used as a title like Assassin's Guild Headquarters - the way you have it in the first sentence it shouldn't be capitalized. |
Thanks, Dwndrgn. I shall de-capitate the HQ! I want to leave the potential reader with a question in their mind, therefore, if I explain the cryptic comment at the end, I lose the question. However, if anyone else comes up with a similar thought about it missing something, then I'll have to re-think.
The problem is that I only have 75 - 100 words at the absolute top end in which to sell the story. Writing a blurb is almost an artform in its own right.