Thread Killers Anonymous

[Ursa major]

Originally Posted by HoopyFrood

Mind you, I'm sporting a nice pair of shorts underneath, anyway....

I hope you're not hinting that Jim has only a short time left, Hoopy.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Well, No less than the rest of us I assume.

[No One]

That sneaky Hoopy! Gah.

But, having studied my fellow chronites' weaknesses, I think I see a plan. I can use Ursa to pun(t) the Hoopster away from this thread and drive Ursa away with bear traps. Hmm...

TEIN I shall have to study more closely, beginning with his aptly provided link (which I'm reading in installments!).

I will add though that I too am something of a thread reviver (at least in the GRRM section) as opposed to a thread creator.

[Ursa major]

* Prepares Tumbleweeds for some anti-bear-trap activity. *


If the sniggering is anything to go by, they're looking forward to the job.

[No One]

Tumbleweeds!? A fine plan foiled by TUMBLEWEEDS!!

I shall have to fend them off personally...

*readies himself for "combat"*

Sigh...reduced to this. That bear is too clever by half.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Look No One, I'm prepared to offer you a, One No not never, to to repeated deal on your FOJ membership. It'll come with all the usual fringe benefits, free use of the jocouse, free first drink of the night and best of all, your own personal choice of any of the available 'hosts' for the duration (which as I believe I may have mentioned, is not long away).

All this for the ludicrous price of.....












Your Soul.





.................................................. .......................



Go on, cross the line. You know you want to.

[Ursa major]

Muffled sniggering is heard.

(A sign that Tumbleweeds are patrolling just out of sight inside the walls of the thread, keeping watch for any offensive anti-bear activity?)

[No One]

Does this count as crossing the line?

But no TEIN, in answer to your offer, a thousand times NO! NEVER!

You all might as well be chanting, "Join us! JOIN US!" and as a rule of thumb, that never a good thing.

In any case I've got more bear-traps to set up around...agh! Ambushed by tumbleweed!

*starts off badly against the dastardly, inanimate flora, but eventually manages to overcome it with only several dozen scratches and a few lacerations*

Boy...huff...that was...puff... one tough tumbleweed! As averse as I am to modern weaponry, I may have to find myself a flame thrower...

[Ursa major]

* Wonders why No One is fighting a tumbleweed. The Tumbleweeds, in whose mouths butter wouldn't melt, never mind Flora, are also bemused. *

[No One]

*enters and proceeds to laying a spread of bear-traps over a hundred yard perimeter. Then encamps himself with a flame-thrower at the ready*

Hmph, wise-guy eh?

Fine - bring on your precious tumbleweeds! I dare ya!

[TheEndIsNigh]

Wait a minute there No One.

You seem to have lost the plot!!!!

It's the thread you're supposed to be killing, not the harmless little cuddly with the sweet innocent expression.

[Clansman]

Originally Posted by Ursa major

* Wonders why No One is fighting a tumbleweed. The Tumbleweeds, in whose mouths butter wouldn't melt, never mind Flora, are also bemused. *

Tumbleweeds have mouths? I thought they were the dried husks of the original plant that let go in order to be blown by the wind, and thus, spread their seeds all over the American south west?

Mouths? Butter?!?

Suddenly I feel like eating popcorn.

MMMMM. Popcorn.

[No One]

Yes, a little devil on my shoulder (perhaps a new ally in my fight) told me they'd be no ordinary tumbleweeds...

"...harmless little cuddly with the innocent expression"!? Hah! And stuffed full of puns all of which are designed to obscure a most devious mind, no doubt.

And TEIN, I must insist that, on the contrary, I have not lost the plot. It's you guys and gals working for Jim that keep him alive - the so-called FoJ. I have merely identified that in order to destroy Jim, I must remove the support of his minions (yeah, you heard me - MINIONS!). Only by driving out the FoJ can this thread finally be destroyed. Hence the bear-traps.

And the flame-thrower.

Hmm, I may have to start profiling the FoJ into some semblance of a hierarchy, but it's clear that you TEIN, and Ursa, are high-ranking members of the organisation (and therefore not to be trusted). Sorry, it's nothing personal

[Ursa major]

The Tumbleweeds (with a capital T) are semi-autonomous, biomechanical droids (whose appearance, when seen, resembles a tumbleweed), which are able to part-phase through normal matter, allowing them to attack from the safety of the floor or walls. The sniggering is meant to intimidate while warning those around not to transgress.

The tumbleweeds with a small t are the original ones, as seen in one or more deserts in the US (if Hollywood is to be believed).

Tumbleweed technology is also used for in the rather more autonomous (and rather less vicious, though still effective) mini-Ursas. (Devices made using Tumbleweed technology are flame-resistant. )

[Clansman]

Originally Posted by Ursa major

The Tumbleweeds (with a capital T) are semi-autonomous, biomechanical droids (whose appearance, when seen, resembles a tumbleweed), which are able to part-phase through normal matter, allowing them to attack from the safety of the floor or walls. The sniggering is meant to intimidate while warning those around not to transgress.

The tumbleweeds with a small t are the original ones, as seen in one or more deserts in the US (if Hollywood is to be believed).

Tumbleweed technology is also used for in the rather more autonomous (and rather less vicious, though still effective) mini-Ursas. (Devices made using Tumbleweed technology are flame-resistant. )

Isn't that bloody convenient!