Thread Killers Anonymous

[Ice fyre]

Custard and porridge, in the same thread now that is odd!

[TheEndIsNigh]

Clansman

Paah.

Maybe it's the distance or the time your family have been away from the glens but over here oats and custard are all the rage.

It was found that the stiffness that the oats (as you can imagine) lends to the custard gives an almost impenetrable thickness to the custard giving it body and much improving the viscosity. Incidentally without doubt when added to the mix oats virtually guarantees full and succulent lumps - an absolute must I'm sure you'll agree (I'm hesitatingly pre-supposing that you are not from one of the wimpish thin custard clans). You may be aware that the main ingredient of the famous Manchester tart is a custard base set over a jam pastry. The layer of custard is most prized if it's consistency is that of a custard skin two centimetres thick. The addition of a small amount of oats will ensure a prize winning outcome every time.

In the correct proportions cooked at the right temperature it has found uses well outside those of the culinary world.

Nelson sits atop his column solely due to the strength and holding power of a 2:1 custard to oats mix.

On numerous occasions custcoat (trade name) has come to the rescue of the armed forces as a temporary battlefield armour plating. Once set it is as strong as concrete yet still retains it's flexibility.

Care must be taken though as if used as a confection not only would it probably result in death due to the constriction of the large intestine of the consumer but when used in competitions such as flan flinging serious injury and on occasions deaths have been reported.

However I digress from the spirit of the thread so, as while I've been rabbiting on I've been mixing a super strong Custcoat formulation, I'll tip this little lot down the threads throat to see what makes it stick.

[Clansman]

I stand in awe of your knowledge of custard, TEIN. Too bad you'll be dead soon, whereas I have been promised eternal life, in which I plan to enjoy heavenly custard, with raisins. I might try oats at some point, but why bother. I save them for my porridge, in which I happily dump a half cup of -

wait for it

- RAISINS!

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Just make sure to close your blinds before the morning sunlight his Diaper Hill.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Originally Posted by Clansman

I stand in awe of your knowledge of custard, TEIN. Too bad you'll be dead soon, whereas I have been promised eternal life, in which I plan to enjoy heavenly custard, with raisins. I might try oats at some point, but why bother. I save them for my porridge, in which I happily dump a half cup of -

wait for it

- RAISINS!

LOL

Well that will be the Ambrosia* then will it.

By the way, this eternity business is not all it's cracked up to be.

When I say end, I mean THE END

The end of the whole shambolic lot.

You, me, everyone, the world, time, all universes and even the memory of the same. Gone never to return.

It's coming I tell you.

Now lets be 'avin' that tickling stick of yours so I can shove this custcoat further down this damn threads neck

*(custard trade name in the uk)

[Ursa major]

I'm surprised, TEIN, that you haven't suggested that the raisins can only be part of Clansman's current plan.

[TheEndIsNigh]

Well Usra I didn't want to raise that particular can of worms

[Ice fyre]

Think Ursa raisin the point anyway!

[Clansman]

Grooooaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!

[TheEndIsNigh]

Was that you or the thread

[Clansman]

I think it was everyone. I was just a spokesman.

[Ursa major]

Jim only listens to someone who's a big wheel; as for others, he's tired of them: they can speak when they're spoken to, as far as he's concerned. (Unless, of course, they've got that certain hubba hubba factor.)

[Clansman]

Quotes that may be applicable in this instance:

"He's dead, Jim."

and

"Well crack my knuckles and jump for joy! I've got a clean bill of health from Dr. McCoy!"

[TheEndIsNigh]

I just found this and had to re post it sorry if it's out of context of the discussion. It foolowed an interesting exchange about the fact Hoopy ahd nearly killed it off

Marcus it's not the dying (it's the taking part--- sorry I'll start that again)

Marcus it's not the dying it's the fact that Hoopy would have killed it off.

That’s the reason for the crash team above.

I'd gladly do the thing in myself but I'll be dammed before I let Hoopy be the last poster.

I can see the scene now...

Hoopy, a rather large orange dragon walks meaningfully toward the door. Disconcertingly the dragon is smiling; small wisps of smoke can be seen escaping from the sulphur encrusted nostrils. She walks with even pace, casually shifting her considerable mass from one hind leg to the other as she draws closer to the impressive silver inlaid solid oak door.

Unfortunately as she misjudges her last step, her index claw scrapes against the portals iron like surface , a sound like a thousand cats' claws scraping against a thousand blackboards screeches out, deafening anybody on the other side of the door and sending them into paroxysms of agony as there back muscles clench from the ear piercing shrill.

The dragons smile widens as the sound reaches her and she observes the chaos she has caused. She stoops down turning her head to one side so that she can fully inspect the door through one eye. The eye, like a deep fathomless pool, nearly matches the full height of the door and she realizes that this entrance was not intended for life forms of her bulk.

"Oh this won't do, this just won't do" she mumbles to herself, casually swinging her left leg back and then forwards again, she kicks the door. The solid oak is rendered to smithereens as the door, ripped from it hinges is hurled across the room and the dragons foot mulches the frame, the wall and half the side of the building. As the dust settles the dragon again stoops, this time to inspect the damage and look for and surviving occupants.

She notices movement from the assembled acquaintances huddled in the corner under a pile of rubble. They are coughing and spluttering. They are not pleased, several are invoking evil daemons and most are reaching for sharp pointy things with the intent of remonstrating with the orange apparition as she peers at them through the dust.

She ignores the bable like cacophony of raised voices.

"I just wanted to say," she roars, pausing for dramatic effect," I've killed off that pesky thread".
....
I just couldn't let that happen Marcus, just couldn't....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by TheEndIsNigh; 27th July 2008 at 08:39 AM

[Harpo]

Originally Posted by HoopyFrood

*Scoots out, grabs the bag, and brings it back into the thread*

I'm not leaving this place, I'm on constant watch! I'm always going to be here to have the last word.

Now, if you'll excuse me. *Begins batting the paper bag*

This is the last post here before the crash, and Hoopy hasn't been back since the crash.

Something wrong?