Fave Quotes (Terry Pratchett)

[Joel007]

I loved Jingo!

Don't be silly, loweroglyphs if you go lower...

sorry sarge.

Everyone knows you don't get loweroglyphs in these waters.

[^jordy^]

I don't blow everything up, sir. Some just melts.
Cheery Littlebottom to Vimes - Feet of clay

[^jordy^]

Oh, I've just remembered two more:

I AM DEATH, NOT TAXES. I TURN UP ONLY ONCE.
Feet of clay

DON'T PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES.
The Truth

[Nesacat]

It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored. - Jingo

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things. - Jingo

[Joel007]

(from a vague memeory) Death used to have a skeletal horse, but he kept having to stop to wire bits back on

[Nesacat]

... perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain. - Soul Music

[Joel007]

One of the best lines in Going Postal:

What sort of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

[Elisheba]

From Soul Music
"I sort of got some leopard skin trousers, and a leopard skin shirt"
"You bought a leopard didn't you?"

(Or something like that)

[Nesacat]

Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn't believing. It's where belief stops, because it isn't needed any more. - Pyramids

[Sibeling]

Freedom may be mankind's natural state, but so is sitting in a tree eating your dinner while it is still wriggling. - Going Postal

[Joel007]

"Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it?" "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short."

[Nesacat]

From Sourcery:

"Ge Fordge's Compenydyum of Sex Majick" is kept in a vat of ice in a room all by itself and there's a strict rule that it can only be read by wizards who are over eighty and, if possible, dead.

[YuYus dumber Brother]

Don't point your vinger at the patrician, unless you only want to be able to count to nine, without taking your shoes off or using someone else's hand

[Nesacat]

Cutangle: While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.
Treatle: I hadn't looked at it like that, but you're absolutely right. He's really pushed back the boundaries of ignorance.

-Equal Rites

[Joel007]

"You have to hand it to the Patrician... If you don't he sends men around to take it."