[knivesout]

I'll ignore grammar/spelling issues right now - these are minor and I suspect a round of revision will handle them

This is a very interesting opening. The first two paragraphs paint a very vivid and detailed picture of the city of Duat. However, once you introduce the narrator's character there seems to be a sudden falling-off in detail. The nature of the two kinds of inhabitants in the city seems very off-hand, considering that you have just been operating at the level of detail where you inform us that every tree in Duat has the same number of leaves - and the number thereof as well! ( I loved that touch!) I'd like to see that same richness of detail (or at least nearly as much) in the description of the labourers - what sort of jobs do they do, what kind of workplaces do they have and so on, and the same for the non-workers. And the dwelling place in which the narrator is at the beginning, the streets he wlaks out into and so forth.

There seems to be a very vivid vision behind this story - now you're just going to have knuckle up and take it through in its fullness! Basically, I think you've set the imaginative bar quite high in the opening, which is why you may be feeling stuck. At this stage, I'd say just layer detail upon detail and then go back and prune the excess away when you are done. Have fun conjuring up your imaginary world!

Well, these are just my opnions, and they may be coloured by the fact that I am rather addicted to imaginary cities and am greedy to see more of this one!The name Duat is itself intriguing - it is the Egyptian underworld , if I recall right. A most interesting association!