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| Jack O'Neill Colonel Jonathan \"Jack\" O\'Neill - black ops operative with a conscience and a moral code that sometimes gets him into trouble with his CO and his fellow team mates. |
12th October 2000, 05:27 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| THE Messiah  Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Australia
Posts: 937
|  Ok a new topic for Jack can be a list of your favourite quotes that jack says just to get you started off. "Well, they could be blowing their noses right now." "Oh, I adore you already, Captain." "Daniel, for crying out loud, you've had one beer. Cheaper date than my wife was." "The man has not changed." "General Hammond. This is Teal'c. He helped us." "Captain. I see everything is working out just as we'd planned." heres a start peolple start posting your favourite jack quotes to day!!! |
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12th October 2000, 07:35 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Peaceful Explorer  Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Posts: 1,287
|  I love too many Jack's quotes. Ok, here's my "small"  list.COTG Hammond: „You ever think of writing a book about your exploits in the line of duty?“ O’Neill: „Ah, I’ve thought about it. But then I’d have to shoot anyone that actually read it.“ ENEMY WITHIN O’Neill: „Listen. Um, I gotta ask you something. It’s not easy for me.“ Kawalsky: „We’re friends.“ O’Neill: „If you don’t make it...can I have your stereo?“ THE BROCA DIVIDE Jackson: „Wait a minute, move out?“ O’Neill: „Yeah. Back to the Stargate, back to Earth, terra firma, home, you’ve heard of it?“ O’Neill: „Lucy! I’m home!“ O’Neill: „Daniel, you dog. Keep this up you’ll have a girl on every planet.“ THE FIRST COMMANDMENT Connor: „No, Sir.“ O’Neill: „No Sir? Does it say Colonel anywhere on my uniform?!“ O’Neill: „Sky...orange?“ Jamala: „The sky...up there.“ O’Neill: „Yeah. I know what the sky is.“ THE NOX O’Neill: „Sorry to drop in on you like this but we were...dead.“ O’Neill: „No, we can’t keep him.“ O’Neill: „Ah, fruit. Nothing like coming back from the dead to build an appetite.“ BRIEF CANDLE O’Neill: „You never cease to amaze me with all your talents.“ O’Neill: „Welcome back, kids. It’s damn good to see you again. Don’t worry. Aside from a little prostate problem we won’t go into, it’s not so bad.“ THOR’S HAMMER O’Neill: „Teal’c, I think we just got the answering machine.“ O’Neill: „Water. Give it enough time it’ll bring down walls. Even walls just like that. So in a couple hundred years we’ll be free.“ Unas: „I know the secrets of the labyrinth. I could help you escape.“ O’Neill: „A map would be nice.“ (and shoots him) THE TORMENT OF TANTALUS O’Neill: „Catharine, hug me.“ BLOODLINES O’Neill: „I serve at Stargate Command under a General Hammond.“ Bra’tac: „So this Hammond is a...?“ O’Neill: „Just a man. A very good, a very...bald...man from Texas.“ FIRE AND WATER O’Neill: „Daniel Jackson made this place...hapen. As a member of SG-1, he was our voice, our conscience. He was a very courageous man. He was a good man. For those of us lucky enough to know him, he was also a friend.“ Hammond: „You know that’s my car, don’t you?“ O’Neill: „You should get that window fixed.“ HATHOR Jackson: „Hathor was the Egyptian goddess of fertility, inebrity and music.“ O’Neill: „Sex, drugs and rock’n roll?“ Hathor: „We are the mother of all pharaohs.“ O’Neill: „Of course we are. General, why don’t *we* call County Mental Health, see if we can find a nice rubber room for the lady?“ O’Neill: „Is mental illness contagious?“ SINGULARITY Jackson: „So what exactly are we to see after this eclipse begins? I mean, it is black and it is a hole...“ O’Neill: „Well, it might be a black hole.“ Cassandra: „What’s that?“ O’Neill: „We have a rule here on Earth. Every kid has got to have a dog. This is a dog. And he’s yours.“ COR-AI Hammond: „Colonel, the United States is not in the business of interfering in other people’s affairs.“ O’Neill: „Since when, Sir?“ ENIGMA Carter: „Temperature: ground 1700° Fahrenheit, air seems to be in pockets ranging from 1500° to 200°. O’Neill: „Sounds like L.A.“ O’Neill: (about the Nox) „God, I love those people.“ SOLITUDES O’Neill: „Ice. Nice.“ O’Neill: „I think I cracked a rib, too.“ Carter: „Why didn’t you say something?“ O’Neill: „I was afraid you’d try to put a splint on it.“ O’Neill: „It’s my side arm, I swear.“ TIN MAN Harlan: „You are the leader?“ Jackson: „Oh no, that would be...“ O’Neill: „Me. Colonel Jack O’Neill. Cumbaya.“ Harlan: „*Cumtraya*.“ O’Neill: „Whatever.“ Jackson: „We still have our rights, Jack.“ O’Neill: „What rights are you talking about?“ Carter: „Colonel, no matter what he’s done to us, we’re still...“ O’Neill: „Human?! Is that what you were going to say?“ O’Neill: „Harlan, we want to go home.“ Harlan: „Oh no no. You must stay. You are friends. New friends.“ O’Neill: „Friends?! I don’t even like you! Chances are I’ll never like you!“ THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD O’Neill: „Good morning, campers.“ POLITICS O’Neill: „Alright, wait a minute. Let me...let me get something straight. Engaged?“ Carter: „It is theoretically possible.“ O’Neill: „It’s against regulations.“ Carter: „I’m talking physics, Sir.“ Hammond: „It costs nearly a billion dollars just to turn the lights on around here.“ O’Neill: „How about a bake sale? Yard sale? Garage...?“ Hammond: „This is what I look like when I’m not laughing, Colonel.“ O’Neill: „Car wash?“ WITHIN THE SERPENT’S GRASP Klorel: „You dare to do this to Klorel?! You will die a painful death!“ O’Neill: „Yeah, yeah. Whatever.“ THE SERPENT’S LAIR Jack: „Then I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound...Nothing comes to mind. Let’s do it.“ PRISONERS Jack: „Teal’c, look scary and take point.“ Teal’c: „If you once again try to physically harm myself or my companions, my patience with you will expire!“ Jack: „Well, Teal’c, making friends, are you?“ THE GAMEKEEPER Hammond: „Are you going back or not, Colonel?“ Jack: I’m already in!!!“ NEED Jaffa: „On your nees!“ Jack: „No, actually I’ve got this cartilage problem, little ACL thing... (the Jaffa hits Jack with his staff weapon)...That helps.“ Jack: „Well, it’s suprisingly difficult to kill you, isn’t it?“ Jack: „We had a nice time, Sir. Carter picked up some naquadah, Teal’c made some new friends as usual, Daniel got engaged and, um, I’m gonna hit the showers.“ MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE Hammond: „Did everything go as planed, Colonel?“ Jack: „Oh, one small step, one giant leap, that kinda stuff, Sir.“ FAMILY Fro’tac: „I am Fro’tac of the high cliffs.“ Jack: „Jack of the windy city.“ SECRETS Heru’ur: You dare challenge me!“ Jack: „I was thinking about it.“ BANE Jack: „General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man.“ Maybourne: „Striking an officer is a quick way to a court martial.“ Jack: „Oh, I’m not going to strike you, Maybourne, I’m going to shoot you.“ THE TOK’RA I, II Jack: „Assuming, of course, you *are* the Tok’ra.“ Cordesh: „And if we’re not?“ Jack: „Well, I guess we all start shooting. There’s blood, death, hard feelings. It’d suck.“ SPIRITS Daniel: „Are you *you*?“ Jack: „Yeah. You?“ Daniel: „What?“ Jack: „Never mind.“ Jack: „How do I know you’re really Daniel?“ Daniel: „Because.“ Jack: „Yeah, okay.“ TOUCHSTONE Jack: „Alright, we came here in peace, we expect to go in one...piece.“ A MATTER OF TIME Jack: „I thought you were on the phone.“ Cromwell: „Man, she is...“ Jack: „...way smarter than we are.“ THE FIFTH RACE Jack: „Well, this was an intergalactic waste of time.“ SERPENT’S SONG Apophis: „O’Neill, I am dying.“ Jack: „My heart bleeds for you.“ Jack: „What do you want?“ Apophis: „To live.“ Jack: „I can’t help you there. That’s between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute, *you are* your god. That’s a problem.“ Jack: „Go to hell!“ Apophis: „A single human life is worth so much you ’d risk a world?“ Jack: „That’s right. That’s why they call us the good guys.“ HOLIDAY Jack (inside Teal’c ‘s body): „Teal’c, what are you doing?“ Teal’c (inside Jack’s body): „If I am to remain in this body, I must shave my head.“ Jack: „You’re making a joke, right?“ Teal’c: „I am not joking.“ Jack: „Teal’c, you will *not* shave my head!!!“ Teal’c: „It is presently my head, O’Neill.“ Jack: „Teal’c, this is temporary!“ ONE FALSE STEP Daniel: „Oh, please, we have a difference of opinion on just about everything.“ Jack: „Give me an example.“ Daniel: „I don’t know, *pick* something! How about mythology?“ Jack: „Rumors, lies, fairy tales.“ 1969 Thornbird: „I’m Major Rober Thornbird. And you are?“ Jack: „Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise.“ OUT OF MIND Hathor: „How do we contact the Asgard so that we might ally with their forces?“ Jack: „Try Roswell, little place in New Mexico.“ INTO THE FIRE Jack: „You heard me? I said kree!“ Daniel: „Jack?“ Jack: „Hey, guys! Makepeace, nice rescue! Good job!“ SETH Hamner: „I just got off the phone with the President.“ Jack: „Of the United States of America? Sweet! How’s he doing?“ Hamner: „He seems to have a thing for you.“ Jack: „Yeah, well, you know...“ FAIR GAME Daniel: „The second Goa’uld representative we’re expecting is Yu.“ Jack: „Me?“ Daniel: „Yu is the name of the Goa’uld.“ Jack: „Ah! Sorry.“ Daniel: „Excuse me, sorry for interrupting. What just happened?“ Jack: „ Well, apparently we said hello, insulted each other and broke for recess.“ LEGACY Jack: „I’d like to apologize in advance for anything I may say or do that could be construed as offensive as I slowly go *NUTS*!!!“ POINT OF VIEW Carter: „She’s right.“ Jack: „You just agreed with yourself.“ Samantha: „You have to understand. My Jack had the same face, same voice, same hands....“ Jack: „Which brings to mind an obvious question. How could you marry such a loser?“ DEADMAN SWITCH Sam: How do you keep from getting kiled?“ Aris: „It takes talents.“ Jack: „So...how do you keep from getting kiled?“ Aris: „And you, O’Neill, you’re considered, well, you’re a pain in the mikta.“ Jack: „Neck?“ Teal’c: „No.“ Daniel: „And how do we know we can trust you?“ Aris: „My word is good on over 2,000 planets.“ Jack: „There are *billions*. DEMONS Jack: „Carter, if I ever get the urge to help anybody again, feel free to give me a swift kick.“ Jack: „Major, next time Daniel gets the urge to help someone, shoot him!“ RULES OF ENGAGEMENT Rogers: „You are all casualties until 14.00 hours.“ Jack: „Would that be Daylight Savings or Standard?“ Rogers: „I will reveal nothing. You may begin torturing me.“ Jack: „Oh, I’ve already begun. This is the infamous tuna torture.“ PAST AND PRESENT Jack: „What does a bug spray have to do with longevity?“ JOLINAR’S MEMORIES Martouf: „...If you are all sure you understand what you’re volunteering for.“ Daniel: „You said hell, right?“ Jack: „Well, I’m going to end up there sooner or later. Might as well check out the neighborhood.“ THE DEVIL YOU KNOW Apophis: „Major Carter was most forthcoming.“ Jack: „She didn’t tell you squat. By the way, I won’t either.“ FOOTHOLD Jack: „How’s a needle in my butt going to get water out of my ear?“ URGO Dr. Fraiser: „Okay, so what does he look like?“ Jack: „A famous tenor.“ Urgo: „See, I knew it! I knew you liked me. Huh, I was right.“ Jack: „Maybe...a little.“ Urgo: „How about a hug?“ Jack: „Don’t push it.“ A HUNDRED DAYS Jack: „So, Laira, when’s the big show start?“ Laira: „Soon. Be patient.“ Jack: „Oh, I’m patient. I’m nothing if no patient. When’s it start?“ Jack: „Teal’c! You are one stubborn son of a bitch!“ SHADES OF GREY Jack: „Let me know what wacky alien stuff you find in there.“ Sam: „Well, Sir, with respect, you aren’t exactly acting like yourself.“ Jack: „No, Carter. I haven’t been acting like myself since I met you. Now I’m acting like myself.“ Daniel: „So this whole, ah, this whole friendship thing we’ve been working on the last few years...?“ Jack: „Apparently not much of foundation there, huh?“ Makepeace: „You really blew it, O’Neill!“ Jack: „Oh, I think it came off quite nicely, don’t you, General?“ Hammond: „Yes, I do.“ Makepeace: „You have no idea how high up this goes. You’ve pissed off the wrong people.“ Jack: „Like the Tollan, Tok’ra, Asgard, Nox, those folks?“ Makepeace: They refuse to give us the things we need to defend ourselves against the Goa’uld.“ Jack: „We don’t need their stuff, Makepeace. We do need *them*!“ NEW GROUND Jack: „Would you believe we come in peace?...Got a commanding officer around here?...Wow, tough crowd.“ Jack: „Okay, *that’s* a needle! Oww!“ MATERNAL INSTINCT Jack (about Apophis): „Well, somebody’s got to teach that guy how to die.“ Bra’tac: I believe he wishes us to take off our boots.“ Jack: „Yeah, look, ah, we’ve been walking a ways today...“ Monk: „Your journey has just begun.“ Jack: „I’m just saing I think I’m doing us all a great favour by keeping these babies on.“ Jack: „If we happen to make it out of this in one piece, remind me to harm Daniel severely.“ Jack: „Daniel?“ Daniel: „Yeah?“ Jack: „Shoes.“ CRYSTAL SKULL Daniel: „Repeat what I’m saying! I’m standing right beside you.“ Nick: „Standing right beside me.“ Jack: „ He’s lost a few pounds.“ Daniel: „Jack, don’t be an ass!“ Nick: „Jack, don’t be an ass!“ Jack: „ Daniel?“ Daniel: „Yes!“ And of course: "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD" "YA THINK?"  |
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12th October 2000, 01:12 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Registered User  Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Los Angeles, California,U.S.A.
Posts: 4,289
| Wow Vera, you certainly like you Jack quotes! As do I. Here are a few of my favorite from Crystal Skull. CARTER: Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you. JACK: No matter how dense. JACK: Can you imagine heating this place? (They were inside the pyramid and Jack is looking over the edge of the platform many feet above the ground.) JACK: Napoleonic power monger. (He is in a bed in the infirmary and Janet Fraizer won't let him get up.) HAMMOND: Colonel, there is no greater secret in this nation than the Stargate. JACK: So we keep him away from Level 28. HAMMOND: A civilian? Who spent the last twenty years in a psychiatric institution? JACK: Exactly! Who's going to believe him if he says anything? These are wonderful O'Neill quotes from quips. |
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12th October 2000, 05:12 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Napoleonic Power Monger Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 51
|  I don't even try to pretend I've been reading every quote Vera has listed  But it proofs that almost everything Jack says is worth quoting!! Don't you just luv him.... ...wonders off drooling with a stupid grin on her face... |
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12th October 2000, 10:30 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Registered User Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Los Angeles, California,U.S.A.
Posts: 4,289
| Jack has the best lines in the show! That is the only reason I have rewatched a lesser favorite show like "Into the Fire" The Jack quotes and Teal'c. Even Hammond waa boring in this and he got to do stuff! |
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18th October 2000, 11:40 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 2
| So many quotes, so little time Let's see there's.... "Didn't I order you to get a life?" "Sounds like a good idea for a TV Show, if you're into that kind of thing." "Ya think?" "For crying out loud." "It's my side arm I swear." "Just remember, I retired, you wanted me back." (May have misquoted him, but you get the drift) "If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?" (Those of you at Gatecon heard Jay Acovone's story on that one. Funny!) I could go on and on and on. 4 years worth. And don't get me started on MacGyver and Legend quotes. :-) Sinjinh |
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All I can say is...
