Destroyer of Words
Join Date: Apr 2007
Re: Setting the scene game, Mark II
Yeah, hi, Monica, yeah, it's great, you know, not many reporters allowed to view the Royal Royal Dalton, but ever since he was crowned King of the Jungle, an insider source has suggested His Royal Highness has been flushed with pride, no pun intended - much ... So, let's take a look, shall we, and see if we can guess Whoooooose Bathroom?
If you'll follow me ... this is Adrian, everybody. Adrian is our cameraman for the day, by appointment, as you might say. Don't be put off by that vacant look, he's been engaged at great expense, another pun not intended. In here, Ade.
Now this is the door, we'll have a look at it first, because it's quite some door, I think you'll have to agree. I'm told it's solid oak, I'll just give it a knock ... you hear that? That's what we call a tap on the bathroom door. They think of everything, don't they? I intended that one.
Let's just go in ... hope there's nobody in here ... nope. The light's on, all right, but there's nobody home.
So this is what it looks like on the inside. Wine red tiling all round, as you can see. Just the one mirror, surprisingly. You can just imagine whoever uses this bathroom standing in front of it, asking who the fairest of 'em all is.
Now look. Just look at these. Look at these taps. These are some taps, I think you'll agree. Solid gold, they look like. What would that be? Anyone? Eighteen carrat, something along those lines?
Anyway, these taps, and there are two more of them over here - or fawcets, if you're of an American persuasion - are probably a major cost, worth more than your salary and mine put together, Monica. These are what I would call, in the original Latin, a pair of fawcet majors! Now let's have a look at the - I think they call it whiteware in polite circles.
I can see my reflection! I'm not kidding. I can see my reflection in the porcelain. Come here, Ade, and take a look.
A look, I said! Honestly, I don't know where we get 'em from.
So, there you have it. A bathroom, but not any old bathroom. A Royal bathroom. But whose? Here's a clue. It looks like it has never, ever been used. So who do we know, who is of the Blood Royal, who finds using the convenience too much of an inconvenience?
The lines are open.
Midnight, Hallowe'en, in a Waxworks Museum