[Moonbat]

A Subaquatic Hotel

The hotel was a dream, like something out of an Aquaman comic, a huge underwater castle, sculpted to look like coral, painted to bring colour to the depths of the ocean, lit up by several hundred underwater spot lights. The approach really took your breath away, it actaully left Ulrika speechless, for about three second. But that's where the dream ended.
It's just bloody typical, you come all the way to the bottom of the ocean, on a holiday of a life time; a holiday that'll take a lifetime to pay for, just to show your new woman a great time, to impress her with your lifestyle and what happens? It turns into the worst holiday from hell in the history of fawlty tower disaters. First of all she got seasick, then when we dived she got underseasick, then we arrived and it was all 'oh wow' and 'how grandiose'. Of course all the hotel staff were eyeing her up, most of them were conspicously chatting her up, she loved every minute of it, the attention that is. At dinner she was almost stolen from me by an oil magnate, but she was only teasing. That night was grandiose, she didn't dissapoint there, but it might have been the start of our more serious problems. She could scream you see, scream for Europe, you be afraid of that if you were trapped under 20000 leagues of seawater with her. I have to say I'm usually proud when I make her make that sound, but I didn't expect it to have such devastating consequenses. I thought I'd been told the windows in the hotel were made of glass so strong it couldn't be broken by shark tooth, or bullet, or even whale song; apparantly it can be broken by a Swedish Screaming Orgasm!

Taken from Rufus Palemont's memoirs


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