| Re: Cruel critics welcome
Wow - you have a definite gift for description. I'm a bit envious as I'm rubbish at it.
However some of it to me doesn't flow as well as it should. Have you tried reading it aloud to make sure it has a nice rhythm when read? Also although I like your description, I think some of it needs to be pruned back a little in parts, there just seems a lot of it. Kudos to you for being able to clearly see your world, but you don't always have to give over every bit of description to a reader in one go. |