| Re: Now you'll know...
I think the scenario has promise, but I agree with the previous posts.
I think it is a little cluttered. There seem to be too many repetitions of mother and father and which door belongs to who.
I think we get the impression clearly enough that a young child is living in a house with a couple of adults (i.e. parents) so make your description simpler, we will still get the family set-up.
Concentrate on the more interesting bit, the werewolf/monster that Dad was blasting away at! (also who got bit I wasn't sure about that?) |