[Peter Graham]

Morning, Squire.

It definitely works for me. A couple of suggestions:-

1). The use of the name "Jenkins" so soon in the first chapter links straight to the Prologue and leaves no room for the reader to wonder "what was that all about?" In other words, you immediately lose the mystery which the Prologue builds. I'd be inclined to hold it for a few pages until you slip Tarquin's surname in, so that eagle-eyed readers can feel pleased with themselves for spotting it.

2). "Mesdames et Monsieurs", surely! Or, at least, possibly. "O level" French was well over two decades ago now and the ceaseless hedonism* of the intervening years has rather dimmed the memory.

3). A point relating to something you said later in the chain, but I'd really not be keen to have dead characters coming back to life as a result of time-twiddling antics. There has to be some finality and if people keep coming back to life, you run the risk that readers feel that you have played with their emotions for no good reason. Worse still, you risk fatally undermining the dramatic tension. If characters can't really die and can go back in time and basically try again, there is no danger or threat. It just becomes a question of how long and by what method they get what they want, rather than whether they get it at all.

4). Anally retentive pedant point - I think transatlantic flights cruise at about 30,000 feet.

Regards,

Peter

*The occasional glass of sherry and a rubber of bridge with Mrs Graham and the neighbours may not sound like ceaseless hedonism, but when you live out in the sticks the standards by which these things are judged are rather different.......