please don't take this the wrong way, but with a cliched first line like that, I hope this is a comedy (in a Tom Holt style. I'd be interested in reading it when you finish it)
apart from that, you need to find some other ways to say "the armoured man" as that gets repeated within 2 sentences and then again a few sentences later.
but I do want to read more about this dark lord and fungus
