[chrispenycate]

The great ugly hulk of metal hung in space, motionless

and laid his head back on the head rest

hanging by his ankles from a twentieth-story balcony.

You give us a jerry built space station, not even rotating, then behave as if it had Earth-normal gravity.

The walkways were almost always throbbing with grubby, irritable life, while the various mechanical systems continually churned out water, processed air and power, with the occasional technical failure being its only respite.

what's ony respite; the stations ? Or should that be "their"?

It was a curious thing to steal though, Jeff mused to himself, as he scratched his stubble-covered chin. Most petty thieves stole vehicles, designer clothes, other people’s expensive belongings… Instead, this time, Inecatu had stolen high-powered laser syringes, some gas compressors, and an odd assortment of industrial equipment from the water plant where he worked the night shift.

You say "it" was curious, then proceed to give us a list of very varied (and doubtless uncomfortable) objects.