[chopper]

As long as they applied for a license to drink blood from a legal source, and didn’t take human lives, everything was considered to be legal.

Repetition of "legal". I'd suggest "everything was considered above board" or something similar.

It reminded him too much of his ex-wife, who had literally transformed into mist, floated out of the window one night and had never come back.

this made me chuckle....