| Re: The battle in the Zelenor forests - prologue
The first line could be given a little more oomph just by changing the tense a little, to something like:
Two tall, dark figures walked through the forests of Zelenor.
or even
Two tall, dark figures walked the forests of Zelenor.
'Were walking' is (I think) passive voice. This removes the reader from what is happening, reducing their involvement. The second example has a more 'olde worlde' feel to it, I think. |