Quote:
Originally Posted by Precise Calibre  I like the majority of this, especially the description of Craw in his human form. The only thing that sticks out to me is the last bit of dialog from Craw. I think that maybe you could reword or restructure his explanation a little bit so that it doesn't seem like he's rambling or giving a history lesson.
Others may disagree with me though. |
hmm. i'm thinking you might be right on that bit. this is the danger of just flinging your ideas straight onto the page - almost like a signpost or memo for what i need to write next. i'm thinking i can move the majority of that speech into the next chapter, as they actually approach the old fort - might make more sense there.
cheers PC
s