Quote:
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he had spent on his private school principal’s office
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should be;
he had spent
in his private school principal’s office
Quote:
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He even looked like Aristotle itself |
should be;
He even looked like Aristotle
himself Quote:
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It made Baker to feel as if the man himself was a King
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should not have the "to"
It made Baker feel as if the man himself was a King
Quote:
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and the man next on his right was his executioner
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the "next" is unnessecerry
and the man on his right was his executioner
Quote:
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it didn’t explain his interest on the gene-manipulation,
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should be;
it didn’t explain his interest
in the gene-manipulation,
Quote:
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but then again the time was year 1980,
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would read better as
but then again the
year was 1980,
Quote:
| by using methods that had to come from the future.
|
it would read better without the "by"
using methods that had to come from the future. Quote:
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His grasping voice made Baker to shiver
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I think you meant rasping voice and you don't need that "to"
His rasping voice made Baker shiver Quote:
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and think how he could escape from the situation that he was in,
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I think it would read better if the sentence was shortened;
and think how he could escape from this situation, Quote:
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"I rather stand, if you don’t mind…”
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should be;
"
I'd rather stand, if you don’t mind…
” Quote:
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Baker took off his glasses to swipe steam off from them, as he started to tell his story.
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would read better as;
Baker took off his glasses
and started to clean them, as he started to tell his story.
Quote:
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according the plan until there was a accident that made the CORE device act weirdly.
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the "
a" should be an "
an", and it might sound more realistic if he said
behave unpredictably instead of act weirdly
according the plan until there was
an accident
which made the CORE device
behave unpredictably.