| Re: My Latest Piece - Work-in-progress.
It's well done, I really like some of the images to bring to my mind. Well not "like"(liking gore as opposed to appreciating its execution might considered sick :P), but I am impressed by what your words bring to life. I was only confused at two points.
First off, where are the bathrooms within the restaurant? When he initially goes in, it seems like he runs to them directly and goes into them, no big deal. But in the later section, it seems like they are up at least one floor's worth of stairs. Where I live, McDonald's only have one floor, which might be confusing my imagery. Which is correct?
Second, I think the description of the first zombie that is eating the schoolboy could use a smidgen of clarification. I only realized that its lower half was mangled badly after several rereads, and indeed initially thought the zombie was the dead school boy.
Other than those two things, I like this piece and hope to see some more from you. Good luck on busting down that wall. |