[SJAB]

I have been submitting my latest effort for a few months now, and well, for the first time I am getting a lot more of personal rejections. I have even had some to and fro correspondence with a big UK agent, who certainly wants to see my next effort (when it is written).

The thing is this the beginning of manuscript I am submitting seems to be causing a split, some agents are liking it, but still rejecting it. Others seem to dislike it to the point they are commenting on it. (A sort of victory, anyway, they took enough interest in the submission to say why they didn't like it)

Now, I know I took a risk with the first page and a half (submission pages) It is just dialogue, but my main character can't see the speakers, only hear them, he doesn't know them, and is semi-conscious, disconnected mentally from everything around him due to the circumstances he is in, in fact he thinks he is dead. So the first few pages are disjointed, as I am trying to show the reader what the character is feeling/hearing and not reacting too. Only half way down the second page do I show the reader the situation of the main character.

The problem I have is that the feedback is getting me more confused with each day. Agents are, it seems, certainly reading my work, in fact moved enough to comment on it, but honestly I don't know which to jump. Stick with the beginning for my next batch of submissions, or alter it to bring the descriptive part of the character's situation to in front of the dialogue. It is very easy to do and fits well, just two small lines need to be removed.

Any thoughts on the matter would be welcome...