| Re: "Green Vs Gray"
Wow, that's about the most original thing I think I've ever read. Your exposition for some reason reminds me of "Catcher in the Rye." I think it's the way the narrator casually discusses other people's lives.
One thing I think you should do is cut out the bit about the narrator's father. It is written well, but could be included later. Also I'm not sure we need to know quite so much details about Frank.
This definitely begins to plant roots. I find your writing style comfortable, but it wasn't enough to make me absorb such a bombardment of information. |