I really don't know where I stand. I used to be optimistic, yet now I'm more of a pessimist. I have alot of psychological problems, severe OCD, and depression (with I believe it brought on
because of OCD). This winter has been the hardest winter of my life. I lost will and feeling for awhile and never told anyone, which was frightening me, the fact that I told no one. But I got through it. Though I still see many things in a negative light. What keeps me going is my God, my wife Melissa, even our animals (I love dogs) and my family. Normally I'm a very submissive person, to everyone, friends and all. Even to strangers. That is until I got sick, becoming agressive and slow to patience among those who lash out at me or are just plain A**H****.
As far as my novel goes, well I'm not sure how to catorgize it. The story
is Dark with lots of violence and blood shed reflecting reality. Yet there is also hope, faith, love, courage and uplifting moments. Sacrifice, compassion and forgiveness. The story also reflects Faith, doing what is right and what
must be done in order to survive, no matter how hard or terrible the conflict may be.
Like an absolute moron (the pessimist in me is now talking) I use to dream of becoming published, yet I know it
most likely won't happen. Unless I publish it myself, which I am. Though that doesn't matter neither because I doubt anyone would enjoy my story: "
The Guardian of the Seventh Realm." I'm a nobody writer, not even a writer, just a guy who
wrote (or is writting) a story.
I'm not trying to be original, or create something "different." I'm just writing a story reflecting my feelings/thoughts
, demons, trials, hopes and over all, my journey in life. For life is a journey. And at times so hard, however there are many beautiful things worth "fighting" for. So never shall I give up.
I probaly have been going on and on and am totally off this entire subject to begin with. I apologize if i have. Just got caught up in the moment about Optimisim and Pessimism.
Hope I didn't depress anyone
