No problem.
You raise an important point about life experience, though - thinking about it now there was the strange violent relationship with the elder brother. That was a good writing tool - snare the user into immediately sympathising (thus, associating) with Ender because of his early suffering. I guess it's also a justification for his more mature attitude.
I guess the ultimate problem for any writer is that we can only write project ourselves. We can aim to modify and frame it to such an extent that the core emotional being is expressed as a wholly different person, in terms of physical attributes - gender, culture, attitude, etc. But at the end of the day, we cannot create original beings - simply create a determined illusion that we have.
As for the children - maybe I simply need to -reread "Ender's Game" again.